


The Wilds

by Skullszeyes



Series: The Wilds [1]
Category: Hellblade: Senua's Sacrifice (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Anxiety, Comfort, Confusion, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Friendship, Gen, Hearing Voices, Male-Female Friendship, Mental Health Issues, Mental Instability, My First Work in This Fandom, Paranoia, Psychosis
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-03
Updated: 2019-06-03
Packaged: 2020-04-07 06:35:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,141
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19079488
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Skullszeyes/pseuds/Skullszeyes
Summary: Senua is out scavenging until the night descends, and her voices are making her paranoid, so she returns to the camp and to her friend, Druth.





	The Wilds

**Author's Note:**

> I have a mental disorder, which is Psychotic Depression (Major Depression with Psychosis). I've had this for years, since I was a kid (I'm 24.) I have auditory, visual, tactile, olfactory hallucinations, including delusions. 
> 
> When I first learned of Hellblade: Senua's Sacrifice before Melina became the actress for Senua, I was intrigued by the game itself, and hoped to see a more substantial game with a portrayal of mental illness like my own. When it came out, I was completely relieved by the representation of the mental illness going on in the game. The voices Senua has is similar to my own. They are deceptive, liars, and hateful, but some can be nice. They whisper and scream. And since I know how voices are, I'll write them how I hear them, and they are incredibly similar to Senua's (besides the narrator, my voices don't narrate my life...)
> 
> I have an issue of sleeping in the dark because of my voices. My mind tells me they're real when I'm in the dark, and they talk more in the dark because I can't see anything. And it's a terrible feeling to hear something and not feel it or even find it until you realize no one was there. And that feeling is something I have to live with, and many others who live with psychosis.
> 
> I'm going to write more for Hellblade: Senua's Sacrifice. (I know I'm like 2-3 years late, I just had a lot more on my plate until now, and this idea came around the time when I was listening to Druth and Senua talk in the game. They knew of each other's "darkness," and I hope at least, Druth helped whenever she lost herself in it.)
> 
> I hope you enjoy.
> 
> Comments and/or Kudo's are appreciated.

She was out in the Wilds, scavenging for food, herbs, wood, and when the night began to fall, her heart raced with terrible apprehension.

She was not afraid of the dark, and she had controlled a part of her mind when she was covered in the night. There was something different that lived within the wood itself, it moved through the trees that blinked their eyes at her, watching her and whispering her name in the wind.

She gathered her things and began a quick trek back to her camp where Druth was. Since he appeared, wounded and confused, his own words was hard to comprehend for days, but after awhile, he had settled and found himself. She did not mind his help, his company, and she had listened to every story he had spoken around the fire and even when she awoke to the sun.

He favored feathers, sticks and moss, bones of animals he had either killed or found. She never questioned it, everyone has their secrets, their reasons for what they do, and she had welcomed his amongst her own.

There were times when he wore a questioning gaze when the shadows grew darker, and the sounds that should’ve been ordinary were beginning to betray her, but he never spoke it, he simply continued with his stories, speaking louder, more reverently at what the Northmen had told him. There was a pain in his eyes, but sometimes, it was gone and she wondered if what he had gone through had hollowed him out, and only echoes survived.

She quickened her steps, her heart racing inside her chest while the cold night seeped upon the grass and in the wind that brushed against her face. She felt it, the whispers repeating her fears, her doubts, her weakness.

_It’s getting closer...closer...shhh...don’t look behind you...it’s watching you, watching your every move._

“No,” she spoke against the whispers, “no one’s there, no one’s behind me.” And even with that assurance, she was too afraid to look back, even with her sword at her side, she kept moving through the trees as the night rose higher into the sky.

Her _Furies_ laughed at her, all of them a rhythm of different people who she never met, who she never knew, besides what was inside her head, that surrounded her every day with no release besides the times when they stayed quiet enough for her to think clearly, to see the world without their prying.

_Closer...it’s drawing closer...behind you! Look behind you! It’s coming for you…run...run...before it kills you! Run. Run!_

Senua blinked her eyes away from the tears that rose, and gritted her teeth to stop herself from screaming. “Please stop talking to me…stop!”

_Don’t be stupid! We’re trying to help you...we’re trying...to help…help...shhhh...she doesn’t want our help…but it’s coming for you, it’s coming for you…_

“Druth!” she calls, it’s dark now and she can barely see her own feet upon the tall grass, and where the stones lay that show her where to go and where they had placed their camp in an old cave. He drew pictures on the walls, and described them to her, more stories, endless and comforting when the night barely touched the flickering flames.

He knew she didn’t like the night and he made sure the fire stayed on until the early mornings. He slept differently than she did, but there were several hours where they spent time together, and his stories were a refuge to what was inside her head.

_It’s coming closer...do you hear it?_

She doesn’t want too, but the song is in the air, and the flaps of wings are hard to miss as her ears twitch at its presence. They’re right. It is drawing closer, and if she doesn’t get back to Druth, it’ll drag her back into the Wilds, and she’ll be lost to it again.

“Druth!” she called again as she stepped closer to the cave where the orange hue glowed upon the tan colored walls.

_What if he’s not real? He’s not real...he’s not there...he’s a lie...another lie created by you...stupid...stupid...he’s not real!_

“Senua!” a voice came from the cave, the echo drowsy and rough.

“Druth! Are you there?” she asked in desperation, stepping at the mouth of the cave, her legs and arms were shaking and she had to bite down on her lip to stop it from quivering.

He was there, sitting by the fire and blinking at her as she set down the sticks, a few herbs, and some berries she had found.

“I’m here, Senua,” he said, giving her a small smile.

She stared at him, unsure if she should get any closer. What if they were right, what if he’s not there.

“I…” she turned her gaze away from him, to what she had foraged and knew it won’t be enough. She’ll have to do better tomorrow. “I’m not sure what’s going on...something was following me...and now they are saying things.”

Druth frowned, raising his hand to her. “Come, Senua, sit with me.”

She hesitated, “What if you’re not real?”

“I am real,” he told her, soft and sure, “sit with me.”

She nodded slowly, walking towards him and sat down next to Druth in front of the fire. They would do this when it got bad. She didn’t need to tell him anything about her own secrets, and he had accepted it. The stories he told her, the ones she knew were real enough, the ones that were filled with pain and loss.

“What if you’re not real?” she asked again, staring into the fire. It happened once, when the Furies spoke a lie, one that Druth had saved her from. She almost placed her hand into the fire, and Druth had pulled her away from it. He had told her more things he wouldn’t have told anyone else, and she listened and never had she put her hand near the flames again.

Druth covered his hand onto her own, “I am real, Senua. Don’t listen to them. They’ll only lead you astray.”

She rocked back and forth, breathing heavily, “What if you’re not? What if they’re right?”

“They’re not, I’m here, Senua,” Druth said.

She nodded, closing her eyes and leaning against him. He spoke of more stories that pushed back the Furies that whispered to her. His closeness helped her feel the stability of the world, to know that everything around her was no longer tilting on its side.

“Sleep, Senua,” Druth whispered, and she nodded, sleeping where he had slept, knowing his presence was close by and that his murmuring was more to her than the whispers inside her head.

She was okay, for now.

**Author's Note:**

> On the 2nd of June in the early morning (5am). My sister texted me and she had an issue with something, and during the late night cause I'm a night owl, I was having a paranoid episode, and my voices were telling me my sister wasn't real, and she didn't exist, and I wasn't texting anyone. I had to ask my brother for confirmation that my sister existed. :/ 
> 
> I decided to add this delusion and hallucination to this story. I kind of lost what I was trying to write by the end, and I also managed to forget the way I wanted to write Druth... My bad. 
> 
> I hope you enjoyed anyways. 
> 
> Comments and/or Kudo's are appreciated.


End file.
